A memory in the past

Assalamu'alaikum.. Bismillah~ Hello, hi and welcome friendly reader. I have come today after a year of updating in my last post. There's a lot of stuff going on right now. I am my own slow phase in recovering from my depression., I would love to tell you the story, but not today. Today is the day where I should put my most awesome person pin down forever here and in my heart.

In regards the event that has happen to me. My beloved father pass away. (innalillahwa inna hirojiun) 18/01/2016. This date will be the date I will remember most. everything that happen before and after. Allah Almighty love my abah (father) more. He was in pain, and he suffers many years before he pass away. It sadden me, seems like I was in the spot of the time. People are pointing fingers and telling me things. 4 word "I wasn't born prefect".

I humbly accept their words of punishment to my brain. Telling me what to do, telling me what I did wrong. I don't know why people never did ask me and had a heart to heart talk rather then lashing their anger on me. Instead of lashing out..how bout try the word "heart to heart" like an adult would do?. My father is on his death bed.. struggling to stay and breath so hard. He heard what they said..he heard what I scream on to about. 

I am not a perfect daughter, but all I can do is make something else matter. A small help which my mom and dad couldn't do at that time. I don't tell people to look matters in my own point of view. I just want them to know what they failed to ask me before lashing me off. I just want to be heard, something like a fathers daughter couldn't do is to ask an advice at time he is to sick to be able to get up on his own. What am I suppose to do other then support in silent..I can't even look at him straight without crying..or feeling sad and sorry for him. I am not perfect abah..I hope you heard me when I ask you for forgiveness 4 days before you passed.

photos from google

That's the only thing I can hope for, and hope you be happy where you are at now, no pain, no sadness. I can only pray in silent and hope Allah s.w.t forgive the sin no matter how big it is, and take you to heaven and be bless with heaven eternity. I love you abah. I hope to see you again and hug you and cry on your chest. I miss you abah. Semoga roh abah di tempatkan bersama orang yang beriman. amin. There's nothing more I wish for my dad except happiness forever to where ever he is in heaven.

I am sorry if this post is a lil sad. Yes even a positive person such as me, have my break down and stressful life., as they say..life must go on. Look on forward and always think positive and positive things will head your way. I must now learn from what ever mistake I've made. To what wrong I have done.. its no matter to whom. I must go through that path without any regret and no looking back. Look back only to reflect what I do, so that I can change for my better self.

About Breakup’s

Writer: this is a copy paste story, ^^,v so this is not mine, but have something to do with me. (meant something in my life)

Boy: I broke up with her.
His Best Friend: What happened?
Boy: She’s just too much for me.
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
Boy: Well,...for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes
locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl
under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
Boy: But..Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her.
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I
see..
Boy: Well, she..
His Best Friend:You broke up with her
because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s
broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S
what happened..

P.s: ^^, I couldn’t agree more to “his best friend” words.

Persepsi PELUANG.

 

Assalamu’alaikum w.b.t dan salam se-jahtera, wazzap readers! aite! hari ni saya ingin bercerita tentang persepsi PELUANG dalam masyarakat kita yang kini kian pesat membangun ini. Ya! persepsi kehidupan, kenapa ya..? hrum..sedar tidak sedar dalam diam kesibukan dalam melakukan apa sahaja.. kita lupa untuk berhenti berfikir dan memandang suatu perkara itu sebelum kita sendiri menyebutnya. Sedar atau tidak, kita akan sebut perihal “peluang” dalam apa jua bentuk sekalipun, tak kira dari dalam hari seharian, bersama keluarga ataupun semasa bercinta. Perasan tak? O.O! apa? tak perasan? meh saya refresh memori awak.. dialog dia bunyi begini. “awak, tolong beri saya satu peluang lagi.. please.. maafkan saya” dapat tak maksud saya? O.O? tak paham lagi? macam ni lah, dalan hidup kita sebagai manusia selalu ada perkataan peluang. Contoh senang ‘mencari peluang pekerjaan’. hehe.. got the drift? good! okie sekarang ni saya dah dapat perhatian dari awak dan awak sedang berfikir..

Sebuah Kisah Tentang Couple.

Pernah seketika dulu saya rasa saya tak berguna..
Masa dalam kelas kawan-kawan semua tak suka..
Saya nak 'join', kawan kata saya menyibuk..
Ada pula yang kate saya kuat emo..

Sikit-sikit nak marah..
Padahal sebenarnye saya nak tegur mereka buat bising masa belajar..
Lepas tu saya cuba buat lawak
kononnya nak tarik perhatian orang lain
saya paling gembira bila ada orang gelak bila dengar lawak saya
terutamanya pelajar-pelajar perempuan..
Budak-budak lelaki semua kata saya 'mat capub'(cari publisiti)..
tapi saya tak kesah..
asalkan ada yang terhibur..

Tapi saya tetap merasakan kekosongan..
Memang lumrah manusia..
Seoarang lelaki akan tertarik kepada wanita
Macam itulah yang saya rasa..
Saya tengok kawan-kawan dah ada yang 'couple'..
Di dorm sms awek sampai pagi..
ada yang call awek sampai satu malam boleh habis 10 ringgit..

Saya mula berfikir..
"Adakah aku perlu BERCINTA?"
Dengan menggunakan akal seorang pelajar tingkatan 4 itu..
saya pun mula menanam tekad untuk ber'couple'..
Dan masa itulah saya kenal awak..
saya rase saya dah jumpa orang yang paling penting dalam hidup saya..

Mula-mula awak jual mahal..
Tapi saya tak kisah..nak beli gak..
akhirnya, dipendekkan cerita..
saya pun mulalah BERCINTA..

Tidak kurang, tidak lebih.

(Part one)

“Awak, dah la tu jangan lah merajuk.. asyik nak merajuk je. penat lah saya nak pujuk awak tu., kalau saya merajuk kang siapa nak pujuk.. saya gak kena pujuk diri sendiri” Kata Irfan pada Anis, si gadis kecil molek yang  menjadi idaman hatinya semenjak masuk belajar di kolej lagi. Anis diam membisu di sebalik perbualan mereka skype, mulanya yang tadi riang gembira berbual tiba-tiba sahaja mood Anis berubah bila Irfan memberi tahu bahawa dia tidak dapat datang bertemu Anis di Kuala Lumpur. Sekali lagi tertanguh perjanjian Irfan untuk berjumpa Anis, hampir setahun merancang namun segalanya gagal. Ibarat takdir tidak menyebelahi mereka, bagai berkata tiada jodoh untuk bertemu lagi.
”Irfan, saya rasa macam nak putus asa dari kita cuba lagi.. saya sayangkan awak Irfan, dan saya tak mampu nak senyum sendirian, saat gembira tp awak tak ada dengan saya.. saya..saya.. sedih la awak...” muncung bibir anis menjuih manja ketika merajuk manja dengan kekasihnya. Tersenyum lega Irfan mendegar Anis mula bercakap semula dengan nada yang manja, ‘sabarlah sayang, Irfan pasti kita ketemu..tapi kali ni Irfan akan buat Anis lagii gembira’ terdetik kata-kata ini di hati Irfan.