A memory in the past

Assalamu'alaikum.. Bismillah~ Hello, hi and welcome friendly reader. I have come today after a year of updating in my last post. There's a lot of stuff going on right now. I am my own slow phase in recovering from my depression., I would love to tell you the story, but not today. Today is the day where I should put my most awesome person pin down forever here and in my heart.

In regards the event that has happen to me. My beloved father pass away. (innalillahwa inna hirojiun) 18/01/2016. This date will be the date I will remember most. everything that happen before and after. Allah Almighty love my abah (father) more. He was in pain, and he suffers many years before he pass away. It sadden me, seems like I was in the spot of the time. People are pointing fingers and telling me things. 4 word "I wasn't born prefect".

I humbly accept their words of punishment to my brain. Telling me what to do, telling me what I did wrong. I don't know why people never did ask me and had a heart to heart talk rather then lashing their anger on me. Instead of lashing out..how bout try the word "heart to heart" like an adult would do?. My father is on his death bed.. struggling to stay and breath so hard. He heard what they said..he heard what I scream on to about. 

I am not a perfect daughter, but all I can do is make something else matter. A small help which my mom and dad couldn't do at that time. I don't tell people to look matters in my own point of view. I just want them to know what they failed to ask me before lashing me off. I just want to be heard, something like a fathers daughter couldn't do is to ask an advice at time he is to sick to be able to get up on his own. What am I suppose to do other then support in silent..I can't even look at him straight without crying..or feeling sad and sorry for him. I am not perfect abah..I hope you heard me when I ask you for forgiveness 4 days before you passed.

photos from google

That's the only thing I can hope for, and hope you be happy where you are at now, no pain, no sadness. I can only pray in silent and hope Allah s.w.t forgive the sin no matter how big it is, and take you to heaven and be bless with heaven eternity. I love you abah. I hope to see you again and hug you and cry on your chest. I miss you abah. Semoga roh abah di tempatkan bersama orang yang beriman. amin. There's nothing more I wish for my dad except happiness forever to where ever he is in heaven.

I am sorry if this post is a lil sad. Yes even a positive person such as me, have my break down and stressful life., as they say..life must go on. Look on forward and always think positive and positive things will head your way. I must now learn from what ever mistake I've made. To what wrong I have done.. its no matter to whom. I must go through that path without any regret and no looking back. Look back only to reflect what I do, so that I can change for my better self.

Siapakah Aku?

Bismillah..
Assalamu’alaikum w.b.t dan salam sejahtera buat semua kawan-kawan yang sudi membaca blog saya yang serba kekurangan ini. Siapakah aku? persoalan ini timbul bukan kerana saya ingin menceritakan kepada semua siapa diri saya. Tidak jauh sama sekali, persoalan ini saya ujarkan pada diri sendiri. Saban hari saya di landa pelbagai dugaan dalam hidup, bermacam cubaan saya terima semenjak di gelar tunangan orang. Orang kata, bila bertunang banyak dugaan..ya, saya dah merasainya. Dahsyat..ya..dahsyat, itu lah ayat yang mampu saya katakan untuk meggambarkan apa yang saya lalui, akan tetapi saya sering kali mengingatkan diri sendiri untuk sentiasa berfikiran positive and memandang kehadapan..memandang sesuatu yang subjective ke arah yang lebih baik dari negative.

Ape kena mengena tajuk dengan cerita saya ni? Ini adalah persoalan yang saya sendiri tanya pada diri setiap kali bila saya hadapai tamparan hebat dalam hidup dan rasa bagai susah untuk teruskan perjalanan, saya sebagai manusia..sifat manusia yang kurang sempurna itu tetap ada pada diri saya. Salah satunya sifat amarah ramai gagal untuk mengawalnya..termasuk saya, akan tetapi..sekadar mencuba dan menduga rasa marah itu dengan persoalan yang mungkin menjadi pemadam api kemarahan itu sendiri. Selain dari menyuruh diri sendiri untuk sabar, tanya soalan ini pada diri sendiri. Walaupun dalam seharian kita rasa hidup kita susah dan ape yang kita laui itu tidak mudah untuk di lupakan malah untuk maafkan. Fikirlah, saban hari setiap manusia yang berada di muka bumi ini menghadapai dugaan yang lagi perih dan lagi dahsyat tamparannya terhadap kehidupan mereka.

Jadi..adakah kita masih lagi di panggil kurang bernasib baik/malang dalam lalui kehidupan? tepuk dada tanyalah diri sendiri. Siapa aku, hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu, buarpun ramai yang seringkali membuat rumusan mereka sendiri tentang siapa diri kita..biarkanlah mereka, yang penting Allah tahu kita siapa. Seandinya perkara yang di nyatakan terhadap kamu itu tidak betul biarkanlah, Allah tahu siapa kita. Kenapa persoalan ini harus saya tanyakan pada diri saya sendiri? sebabnya, seringkali..bila terjadi sesuatu, kita lupa kita di duga oleh Allah s.w.t. Diri kita adalah Hak Milik Kekal DIA. Hanya DIA yang berkuasa keatas diri kita, seandainya dugaan itu melanda, tanyalah diri kita siapa aku? Jadi untuk itu, tidak kira apa pun yang terjadi dalam hidup kita..relakan sahaja ia terjadi, maafkanlah segala yang telah berlaku, lupakan persengketaan dengan menitipkan kata – kata sabar.

Bukalah minda ke arah yang lebih positive! InsyaAllah, hati kamu akan lebih tenang, ada quota Islam yang saya terbaca baru-baru ini..”Hadapailah segalanya dengan senyuman.” maksudnya, hadapilah segala rintangan dan dugaan darinya dengan hati yang lebih terbuka..serta menerima Qada & Qadar Illahi terhadap dugaan Nya. Kerana Hanya DIA yang lebi mengetahui apa sahaja kesedihan dan kepayahan yang melanda diri kita, ada kemanisannya di setiap penghujung cubaan Nya.

p/s: life is sweeter if you forgive, life is better when you forget, life is peaceful ones you move on, at the end of every journey. there is a happy path for your future.. InsyaAllah, just remember that. ^_^

Wait For Me ❤

bismillah..
Assalamu’alaikum w.b.t and a very good day too all.. Its that time of the month I made my self update my beloved blog. (♥♥,) haha.. :P. Alright back to the big questions marks on my entry this time. What is with that? wait for me love♥..? heh~ if you can guess it right I gonna have to take you out for an ice cream..haha.. but well at the end of this entry anyone who read this will know that the big question marks on their head is being replace with a smile ^_^. hehe.. Well last month on my update is a special “momento” vibe on to it for me. So, the moment of truth! its near to its ends.

Love is blind, this word is so true..but my truth is being in a different page of what you guys had in mind. Here goes some actual thing that run down in my mind, how could someone who said that they found love but still fall in love with someone else other then his/her “boyfriend/girlfriend”? okay..now let me ask you was it fate? or choice? My answer “yes” to both. Why? Okay here are my own way of making my statement of what I think. No one in this freaking free world is PERFECT! got that? okay if you still don’t get it I will elaborate it further.

If your thinking is “am not perfect so I can fall in love with someone else then the one I am with?”. Wrong.. /˚,˚\ why? heh~ here is what I think of it really. Doesn’t meant that if your are not perfect you can fall in love with some others..love is blind is not an options of or way for you to run off with someone else and it also doesn’t meant that you “have to” find the one that is with perfect appearance from top to bottom, and must “have” good attitude..In which world are you born on? (O_O) OMG okay! that is one bad thinking..and why I say yes to fate and choice? alright, to me the word fate is useable with everyone we are fated to meet from the day we are born, you are fated to be born in the hands of an doctor, when you are in kindergarten you are fated to meet new friends there, even when you grown older, you are fated to meet friends from school, work place, friends of friends becoming friends.. isn’t that fate? yes it is..then there come the time you fall in love with someone, and you have the choice to make the decision, the choice is in your hand.

When ever you see someone you love, do you look at them base on their looks? or other then that? that is not blind.. O_O looks when you grow older it will be just like you grandma or grandpa.. how do you look at them? they are still charming and cute in their own way, that’s my thinking. Okay let’s further without anymore guessing.When you fall in love, the choice came is when you make him/her to be the one you love. You get pass by the wrong thing they done, the bad attitude, the silly mistake, the same mistake, the stupid mistake..any mistake that they do.. THEY ARE SIMPLY HUMAN just like you. They are not perfect, well if you get pass all that by fixing things slowly..change together slowly..everything takes time..in time you’ll be surprise by what you find out your love one can do for you in return. It will melt your heart, made your heart warm, make you fill that you are a fool in love and you are filled with love. That is what I called “love is blind”.. No matter what..you still think them as they are not perfect..if them can forgive your mistakes, be patience with you, with your naughty side, bad side, even seen you at worst but still wanna be with you, why? why couldn’t you do the same for the one you love?

Now you get me? okay.. one last thing.. be glad and thankful to your Creator for the such person whom bloom in your hearts right now..Trusts me! if you see the word “love is blind” the way I did..You will get the love you always wanted. just make sure the one you love is willingly do the same thing you did. (˘‿˘ʃƪ) Just like me and my beloved fiance. I am filling lucky cuz I found love, for whom is someone I called a friend. When I choose him..I do make sure it will be the last one. I known him for 3 years as friend,then coupled for 8 month and then engage..it has pass the 1year being a coupled.. I found love that My God gave me. I am very thankful, small things can make a big different in your own life. I do admit, to find love is hard..but if you have one who did that for you..see things the way you do.. stick with them! don’t you ever let that filling go! when you choose to fall in love with someone else.

The love you have broken them heart off, will walk away FOREVER..and you will NEVER find anyone the same as them. Then you’ll regret all the things you did, then its too late to mend things back. If so happen you were left by the one you love.. go and move on, DON’T LOOK BACK at your past..make a new future with someone who will most appreciates you present in their life..stick with em..make sure that you choose is right..it means.. You really know that person..before moving on forward. Happiness is in your hands once you know what to do with it. Your fate, you choose cuz its your choice.. ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) hehe.. :X wow..I did it this time a long content of one small subject and hidden from the entry headings.. haha..

Alright.. About the love wait for me.. I will update to you.about it, when the time has come and the event is finish.. that is a promise.. ^_^ v

p/s: wow.. lookie lookiee… its almost the end of march O_O nerve break down! Till next update people! tata! （‐＾▽＾‐）

p/s/s: Love my Sayang even more! (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc) xoxo.

@.@ Pening.

Assalamu’alaikum w.b.t.. dan salam sejahtera., bismillah.. Elo kawan-kawan, apa khabar? oh saya sihat, cuma di landa kondisi pening lalat. Hehe.. ada apa dan kenapa saya cakap begitu? cuma ada sedikit batu pengalang di jalan saya untuk hampir ke matlamat yang seterusnya. Saya boleh di ibaratkan jumpa jalan tetapi harus memanjat diding yang tinggi. Huuu..dalam erti kata lain, HARUS saya berusaha memikirkan jalan sesuangguh-sungguhnya. Allahhuakbar…banyak perkara yang harus saya dan co-partner saya lalui., cabaran ini akan kami pandang positive, dapat atau tidak pencapaiyan matlamat kami tu tolak tepi supaya kami kena betul usahakan caranya selagi boleh sebelum menyerah kalah. Bukan degan kadar terpaksa untuk katakan supaya saya berfikiran positive, tetapi saya harus berfikir dan ambil jalan ikhtiar dan berfikir POSITIVE sentiasa.

Persepsi PELUANG.

 

Assalamu’alaikum w.b.t dan salam se-jahtera, wazzap readers! aite! hari ni saya ingin bercerita tentang persepsi PELUANG dalam masyarakat kita yang kini kian pesat membangun ini. Ya! persepsi kehidupan, kenapa ya..? hrum..sedar tidak sedar dalam diam kesibukan dalam melakukan apa sahaja.. kita lupa untuk berhenti berfikir dan memandang suatu perkara itu sebelum kita sendiri menyebutnya. Sedar atau tidak, kita akan sebut perihal “peluang” dalam apa jua bentuk sekalipun, tak kira dari dalam hari seharian, bersama keluarga ataupun semasa bercinta. Perasan tak? O.O! apa? tak perasan? meh saya refresh memori awak.. dialog dia bunyi begini. “awak, tolong beri saya satu peluang lagi.. please.. maafkan saya” dapat tak maksud saya? O.O? tak paham lagi? macam ni lah, dalan hidup kita sebagai manusia selalu ada perkataan peluang. Contoh senang ‘mencari peluang pekerjaan’. hehe.. got the drift? good! okie sekarang ni saya dah dapat perhatian dari awak dan awak sedang berfikir..