Assalamu'alaikum.. Bismillah~ Hello, hi and welcome friendly reader. I have come today after a year of updating in my last post. There's a lot of stuff going on right now. I am my own slow phase in recovering from my depression., I would love to tell you the story, but not today. Today is the day where I should put my most awesome person pin down forever here and in my heart.
In regards the event that has happen to me. My beloved father pass away. (innalillahwa inna hirojiun) 18/01/2016. This date will be the date I will remember most. everything that happen before and after. Allah Almighty love my abah (father) more. He was in pain, and he suffers many years before he pass away. It sadden me, seems like I was in the spot of the time. People are pointing fingers and telling me things. 4 word "I wasn't born prefect".
I humbly accept their words of punishment to my brain. Telling me what to do, telling me what I did wrong. I don't know why people never did ask me and had a heart to heart talk rather then lashing their anger on me. Instead of lashing out..how bout try the word "heart to heart" like an adult would do?. My father is on his death bed.. struggling to stay and breath so hard. He heard what they said..he heard what I scream on to about.
I am not a perfect daughter, but all I can do is make something else matter. A small help which my mom and dad couldn't do at that time. I don't tell people to look matters in my own point of view. I just want them to know what they failed to ask me before lashing me off. I just want to be heard, something like a fathers daughter couldn't do is to ask an advice at time he is to sick to be able to get up on his own. What am I suppose to do other then support in silent..I can't even look at him straight without crying..or feeling sad and sorry for him. I am not perfect abah..I hope you heard me when I ask you for forgiveness 4 days before you passed.
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| photos from google |
That's the only thing I can hope for, and hope you be happy where you are at now, no pain, no sadness. I can only pray in silent and hope Allah s.w.t forgive the sin no matter how big it is, and take you to heaven and be bless with heaven eternity. I love you abah. I hope to see you again and hug you and cry on your chest. I miss you abah. Semoga roh abah di tempatkan bersama orang yang beriman. amin. There's nothing more I wish for my dad except happiness forever to where ever he is in heaven.
I am sorry if this post is a lil sad. Yes even a positive person such as me, have my break down and stressful life., as they say..life must go on. Look on forward and always think positive and positive things will head your way. I must now learn from what ever mistake I've made. To what wrong I have done.. its no matter to whom. I must go through that path without any regret and no looking back. Look back only to reflect what I do, so that I can change for my better self.
